Is It Worth It?

Today my friends I am stuck at a fork in the road. I've written two essays for the scholarship and I can't decide which one to use.

One of them has a great feel about it and is true to who I am. It's different and will definitely stand out from the millions of other essays sure to flood the readers.The other is very stark and matter of fact. Its mostly true but it doesn't reach the core of my being. I'm sure this is the type of essay that they are going to have more than enough to read. The question remains: which road should I take?

I've talked to a few different people about this dilemma and I'm still unsure. At first I wrote one about my true passion, one that doesn't quite fit the criteria. Upon reading it my mother told me to rewrite it because readers don't want a story, they want facts. So I rewrote something, a little hot and bothered ironically enough and so I ended up with a stark essay which matter of factly addressed the prompt. This draft didn't make me very happy, and part of me went with it so I wouldn't get a bad grade in English. I feel so much at home with the other one. The other one is me down to my core. Both has their advantages and disadvantages.

Draft one is different, quoting Mr. Burge, it has the surprise factor. It's also risky. It doesn't exactly match the prompt but I can massage and research and make it closer to the prompt, but it's not as directly linked as draft number two.

Draft two is matter of fact. I want to be this...I will do this...and you will give me money. I hate writing like that. If I write like that it's because I'm out of time and I don't care. I want to make a career out of writing, is that really the way to do it by doing something I don't like?

Mr. Burge, while looking over my essays, presented me with a conundrum. He said that if my goal was to get the scholarship than use draft two even if I don't like it. It's safe. If my goal was to be true to myself then he told me to take draft one and hope for the best. It's not as safe. I've never done anything like this with my writing before. Is it worth missing out on money for the chance to make myself happy? Well it's not as if I don't stand the chance of getting the money if I massage the draft about writing, it's just more difficult and I should hope for a reader who sympathizes with me.

I guess with this post I'm looking for someone to jump out of the crowd and tell me its ok to do it. It would be nice if someone gave me permission almost to take a risk. I'm thinking that I wrote this to talk myself into what I want to do. It's not like I have a lot of financial options for college. I'm paying for it myself and I detest the idea of being in debt my entire life, but I almost want to cross something off of my "first time I...list." I'm feeling slightly brave tonight. Let's just hope that my writing is good enough.