Everything I Say...

Today is one of those days. EVERYTHING I SAY IS BEING USED AGAINST ME BY MY MOTHER. She is pissed off and it's really starting to annoy me. I feel somewhat horrible to say it, but another part of me is happy to be talking about it to someone, even if it is between me and a computer screen.

To put it bluntly, my mom is sick. She's been cancer free for nearly 10 years, a milestone achievement for a cancer survivor. A month or so ago before her anniversary, she was diagnosed with a disease that leads to cancer 98% percent of the time. As a result, she is scheduled to have surgery later this year or early next year. This isn't the first year my mom has been laid up during Christmas time and my mother hates to do it. She claims that God is hating her and putting her through this. I don't remember if she was like this when she was diagnosed with breast cancer or if this is a whole new set of side effects from her recent surgery yet to be done.

Flash forward to today; my mom just seemed to get mad about everything. My dad got a ticket for going too fast on the highway on our way to church, and it was my fault because I didn't get ready in time. She yelled at me about that.

My mom is upset that I kept spending my money from my summer job. She yelled at me about that.

My mom is upset that I wasn't prepared today and didn't bring my license so I could help move cars around. She yelled at me about that.

My mom is upset about my not too bad grades and missing out on the opportunity about sending my SAT scores. She yelled at me about that.

My dad warned me when I found out about her new diagnosis that I would have to be understanding and considerate towards her because she's under stress. I understand that, and it seems really selfish to be talking about myself when my mom and my family is going through something like this but I still want to do it.

Today I was trying to get my mom off the subject and help her understand my perspective on all the things she was yelling at me about. It didn't work.

My mom and I express our anger the same way. We are tolerant about most things and just let things build and build. Once we get past our breaking point, you had better stand back. We over react because we are angry and everything we are angry about gets told and expressed three fold. With this past I wonder if today is release day or if it's a special brand never seen before...